You lost your SLAA Supply over Lockdown and blamed lack of connection for your sultry demise into cutting ties with AA Meetings in person…… When really the Women you sought were no longer bought by quotings of the ‘Big Book’, hooking them into a false belief your 24 years of Recovery was solid, Sordid moreContinue reading “Qualifier”

Eating Disoriented

The correlation between my eating disorder and perfectionism drives my mental obsession into a sworded yet valuable lesson. Weight masters The perpetuating disaster which awaits the numbers game, creating more shame in and amongst the Countdown of crevices. “I’ll have one from the top and four from the bottom please Rachel but make sure theyContinue reading “Eating Disoriented”


I’m on a Secret Endeavour to create something clever from a plethora of hidden talents. Manifesting as the days go by, tuning into a lullaby which represents all those times I’ve kept it small, afraid to stand tall. Appalled by the way I spoke to myself and still do at times, a sign to stepContinue reading “Endeavour”

Over and Under

Oversharing leads to undersharing, Overindulgence leads to deprivation, Acting Out leads to Acting In, When will the balance begin? I crave Piggy in the middle, I crave the beige in Lidl, I admire the mediocre Fiddle Player whose scraping by but full of joy 😊 I employ the help of tip top tools to coolContinue reading “Over and Under”


You can’t intellectualise your way out of Addiction, Furthest away from reality, closest to Fiction A powerlessness that gets hold of you no matter how hard you try to escape from its grip, it imprisons you in the lie Numerous ways to try and control the behaviour, self-will run riot, becoming your own Saviour…..but itContinue reading “Addiction”


I never know what to say, I overdo it because nerves get in the way, delay, pause then respond, conned into patterns of the past, “you won’t be accepted unless you wear a mask”. In group situations, I constantly escape to the loo, to avoid awkward silences and social ques, Then I go and blurtContinue reading “Nerves”